the four loves

The Four Loves: Summary, 6 Key Lessons and Book Review

TitleThe Four Loves
AuthorC. S. Lewis
Rating★★★★★ (5 stars)
Purchase LinkBuy Here

The Four Loves is the book written by CS Lewis to explain how we can like people and things differently.

The Four Loves is a very important book if you want to know how to differentiate what you love from what you just like. You can read other amazing book summaries here.

Synopsis of The Four Loves

But after all, what four loves are these? Doesn’t the word love mean one thing? Although it seems confusing at first, Lewis teaches us differentiation.

In the book The Four Loves, CS Lewis shows that the notion we have of the word “love” is very distorted these days. In fact, it can mean four things: affection, friendship, passion and charity. The book then explains the difference between these four types.

In modern language, the word “love” means many things, and we end up not fully understanding the term. The book recovers this understanding.

In other words: the 4 loves are very important for us to know how to differentiate the feelings that go on inside us and that we call “love”. You can buy this book clicking here.

Summary of The Four Loves

The Four Loves is very didactic and brings us very important concepts to understand the feelings we have on a daily basis.

The author shows that there are four different types of love, although all of them are called “love”. Therefore, depending on the person or thing, we will have different levels of love for it. Love can be affection, friendship, passion or charity. To understand what we feel, we need to differentiate between them.

First, we can mention affection, which is nothing more than a positive feeling related to something or someone we like, but we have a certain distance.

Second, friendship is reserved for those true friends: those who have the same interests as us and who have similar values.

In addition, there is passion, where we like someone in an uncontrolled and intense way.

Finally, there is charity, that kind of love in which we donate ourselves for someone or for some purpose, as is common in very close relationships. Read a summary about Reflections on the Pslams here.

What are the four loves of CS Lewis?

The four types of love are:

1. Affection

Affection may be a weaker feeling, but it is very important for us to have good relationships with people, memories and other things.

Affection is that kind of love that we show for more distant people, for memories or for objects we like. It’s not such a strong feeling, but it’s important for everyday life.

For example: a neighbor we always liked, some childhood object or a precious moment with the parents.

2. Friendship

CS Lewis tells us that this kind of love has been forgotten these days, but that the sense of true friendship needs to be recovered.

Friendship is that kind of love between two people with very similar values, interests and goals. It is a very deep type of relationship that can arise between two people.

That way, true friendships are very important for anyone, so we don’t live alone. Read a review of The Weight of Glory here.

3. Passion

Passion is in books and movies in droves, but what is it anyway? Is it true love?

Passion is that most sensual movement that is very common between couples in love. It’s often confused with true love, but it’s not necessarily true.

In fact: passion has a limited time to exist and then it goes out, giving rise to a relationship based more on bestowal love.

4. Charity

Charity is donation, it is the deepest type. Let’s understand what he is about:

Charity is the deepest love there is, since it allows two people to truly surrender to each other. Charitable love exists between couples, parents and children or very close people who really want to live for each other.

This is the true ideal of love, that most disinterested and strong love, which overcomes countless difficulties and which Saint Paul speaks of in the letter to the Corinthians. You can buy this book clicking here

Who is the author of The Four Loves?

You probably knows the name CS Lewis, right? He wrote many books and is quite famous, but many don’t know his trajectory.

The author of The Four Loves is Charles Staple Lewis, an Irish writer famous for works such as The Chronicles of Narnia and Pure and Simple Christianity. In addition to being a writer, he was a university professor at Oxford, as well as a literary critic and even a radio presenter.

between your Closest friendships are those established with JRR Tolkien, most famous for creating the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Other books by CS Lewis

Other outstanding books by the author that we reviewed in Casa do Estudos are:

Mere Christianity

In this book, Lewis explains the basics of the Christian faith through simple and accessible language. It is an ideal book for anyone who wants to understand more about Christianity. Read a summary about Mere Christianity here.

The Screwtape Letters

The book shows, through a fictitious conversation between an experienced demon and his apprentice, how we are led to do wrong things and move away from God. Read a summary of The Screwtape Letters here.

The Abolition of Man

This book is CS Lewis’s most philosophical and, although short, it shows important details about universal moral values ​​and their application in society. Very important reading. Read a summary of The Abolition of Man here.

What are the main lessons of The Four Loves?

The main lessons of The Four Loves are:

1. There are different types of Love

First, the author shows us that the term “love” is given for many words, but it can mean four different things.

In this way, we can call love what is, in fact, an affection, a friendship, a passion and a love of donation.

2. We love people in different ways

Second, we need to know that we love people and things in our own way. This is an important lesson in The Four Loves.

For example: a nice neighbor or coworker gives us the feeling of affection. On the other hand, our parents or our husband or wife give us the feeling of charity.

3. Affection is a milder type of love

So, let’s go to the types of love: affection is that feeling when we like something, but we don’t have a very close connection.

For example: liking a nice neighbor, a good friend at work, an important memory, an object we like. Read a summary of The Great Divorce Here (it’s a very good book by Lewis).

4. Friendship is a forgotten type of love nowadays

In fact: perhaps friendship is the most ignored type of love of all, but it is still very important.

In this way, we need to find people who have the same goals as us so that we can grow together.

5. Passion isn’t the strongest type of love

The Passion is a very romanticized type of love, but it is natural for it to cool down with time until it disappears.

Therefore, you must be prepared for the new phase of your relationship, when you begin to donate to each other.

6. Charity consists of the greatest possible love

Finally, charity is the deepest kind of love, because it is where a person can donate and sacrifice for the other.

In fact: when Saint Paul speaks of love in the letter to the Corinthians, he is speaking of the love of charity. You can buy this book clicking here

Negative points of The Four Loves

For me, the book is practically perfect. He brings answers to questions we always ask ourselves, and helps us clarify many ideas.

There is only one negative point that I would give to the book: the book could have a better conclusion to tie the theme. He is a little abrupt in his thermal, although he is well finished. Maybe delving a little deeper towards the end of the book would make it even better.

However, that doesn’t stop the book from being wonderful and mandatory reading for everyone, Christians or not. Read a summary about The Problem of Pain, by C. S. Lewis, here.

Positive points of The Four Loves

As I said, this book is practically perfect and worth reading by everyone. But I separated his best points to put here:

First, this is a very precise book in its nomenclature, correctly showing the different forms of love. Second, the work uses historical examples to aid understanding. This helps the reader a lot. Third, the language is accessible even though it is a more philosophical subject.

Because it manages to deal with such a complete subject in an almost perfect way, this book cannot be left off your bookshelf – even more so if you are a fan of CS Lewis. Read a summary about The Grief Observed, by the same author, here.

Is The Four Loves worth reading?

But what up, is it worth buying this lesser known book by CS Lewis?

The Four Loves is worth reading. This book is fundamental for those who want to improve their relationships by understanding what love is. Thus, the book is positive in all types of relationships: at work, in friendships, in relationships, in the family, etc.

In fact: this work is also recommended for those who want to understand more about love and its manifestations throughout history.

If you are interested in purchasing The Four Loves, you should read it! You can buy this book clicking here